Baccalaureate Speech

May 20th, 2003

By Howard Hand

It was after the Marksmen Ball on Saturday night that I realized that the speech that I had been working on for several weeks was not going to work. Brandon Shubert straightened me out when he announced that your yearbook theme is �Brothers.� You see, I had been working under the assumption that I had to be erudite and intelligent to try to live up to your level of erudition and intelligence. I was on the wrong track. My job here tonight is not to address your collective mind, but rather � your collective heart. It is, I now understand, the emotional depth of this school and the feelings that bind us together, which make St. Mark�s not just an excellent school, but a great one. It was with this in mind that on Sunday morning after the ball I chose the following text as the outline for my speech. Written by Reinhold Niebuhr, American theologian of the last century, it goes like this: Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime. Therefore, we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history. Therefore, we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone. Therefore, we are saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as it is from our standpoint. Therefore, we must be saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness. (From The Irony of American History)

Part I: Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope.

Hope is an indispensable virtue for teachers. How could we continue without it? We believe that we are preparing you all for your life�s work. We plant seeds and watch seedlings grow. But you will leave St. Mark�s and we, your teachers, will be left wondering what ever became of you. Sometimes we find out. Sometimes we don�t. Hope, then, is what saves teachers.

Part II: Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must saved by faith.

Students need the benefit of faith. Often not understanding why we teach them what we do, they must act on faith. Why these endless grammar exercises in Spanish? Why so many papers to write in history and English? Why so many math problems to do? As when a parent tells a child, �Do it because I told you to do it,� the child must learn to believe that his parent really does know best, even when what the parent asks seems, at the moment, totally unreasonable. It may not make sense today. It may make better sense tomorrow. Students must be saved by faith.

Part III: Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we are saved by love.

It should not take you long, Marksmen, to realize that you would not be here today if you had had to do it alone. I think, in particular, of the infinite patience and love given to you by your parents. I think of the support that everyone in this school gets from your parents. There they were last Saturday, sharing the Marksmen ball after weeks and months of planning and preparation. There they were on Friday making Blue and Gold day happen. The Parent�s Association provides teachers with food in the staff room and wonderful gifts on our birthdays. And then there is that other gift from your parents: the day-in, day-out remarkable, cheerful way in which both moms and dads are there to serve lunch in the Great Hall. Lunch at St. Mark�s is truly a family meal. Yes, you, members of the Yearbook staff, recognized the brotherhood that binds your class together. And in so doing, you honor the rest of us as members of your extended family. There is much love in this extended family, but we are all saved by the love of your parents.

Part IV: No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own; therefore, we must be saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness.

This is the tough one, gentleman. It is in the nature of things for family members to come into conflict. We say things that we wish we had not said. We do things that we wish, afterwards, that we had not done. My father died suddenly and unexpectedly twenty years ago. There were words between him and me that I wish terribly had not been said. There were things done by both of us that caused hurt. It�s too late now for me to ask for or get his forgiveness. What I realize, however, is that my father was acting out of the best of motives. It�s just that he and I had different purposes in mind, and even as we both thought we were doing the right thing, we came into conflict. That happens here at school, too. We step on each other�s toes. We fall short of each other�s expectations. I truly believe, however, that most people, most of the time are doing their best. They may have their eye on the wrong target. Their judgment may be clouded by emotion. They may be victims of the law of unintended consequences. But they are doing their best. Therefore, when I hear people criticizing others I try to remain silent. In the long run it is best, when we are tempted to take offense or be critical, to be ready to pardon even before the need arises. Give forgiveness before the offense is committed.

Now let me leave you with one more thought on this subject. Consider, if you will, the advantages of forgiveness purely terms of its value for the forgiver. To bear a grudge is to bear a weight. When you find yourself unable to forgive, you carry this weight every day. The person who has offended you, on the other hand, is free of this burden. He is not the one obsessed with your hurt. Such hurts are like poison. They begin to eat away at us and deform us. I cannot help my father now by forgiving him, but I can help myself. My advice: shed the burden of hurt feelings as a daily ritual. If someone has offended you, and you go home angry or upset, then simply get up the next day and the first time that you cross paths with him, smile, and wish him �good morning.� Nothing more. Just that. I guarantee that it will take a weight off of your shoulders and that you will have a better day.

Guys, you are almost finished here, but not quite. As a teacher, it�s in my nature to give assignments, and I have one more for you. It will not, however, be collected or graded. You will do it on your honor. Like this speech, your assignment has four parts.

Part I: Stay in touch with us, your teachers. Give us an email or a visit. Show us that our hopes for you have been fulfilled.

Part II. Recognize your parents� love by saying �Thank you,� and then tell them that you love them, too. Why not do it tonight!

Part III. For your own sake, keep the faith. There are many times, not just in childhood, when you must do things that don�t make sense. Faith will get you through.

Part IV. And finally, be always and everywhere generous with your forgiveness, because you will never know how much you benefit by being forgiven by others.

For my part you have already given me more gifts than you can know. I could not have been more touched or felt more deeply honored than I was when I learned that you had invited me to speak to you here tonight. It has been nothing but a pleasure to have known you, to have worked with you, to have watched you grow, and, I hope, to have taught you something.